"I heard what you asked but not the way you asked it"

I was watching my church online the other day and our pastor was reading from "A Tale of Three Kings" and he read this sentence...

"I heard what you asked but not the way you asked it."

It grabbed my attention (I was already paying attention LOL but this made me really perk up).  The sentence was in reference to David responding to his men on why he didn't kill King Saul when he had the chance.  His men were angry and wanted answers.

This is a good lesson in leadership.  Many times we encounter our teammates and they are really passionate about something.  They are so passionate that they may not follow the usual "standards" of addressing others.  They are excited, maybe angry and the way they phrase their questions and statements may be harsh.  Often the question is clouded in the emotion of the ask.

"I heard what you asked but not the way you asked it"

As a leader we have to go beyond the emotion and get to the real question or concern of the teammate.  We have to hear what is being asked.  We have to block out how it is being asked.  You want people on your team that are passionate.  People that get excited about what is going on.  People that aren't afraid to speak out and challenge.  It is your responsibility as a leader to calm the emotion by addressing the real questions your team has even as they are clouded by emotion.  Of course, real disrespect should not be tolerated but the leader must be strong enough to know the difference.

Always be on the lookout for the real question.  Hear what is being asked not matter the way it is being asked.